Pacemaker newbie

• by BThankful
• 2016-04-01 09:04:37
• General Posting
• 1110 views
• 3 comments

Hi all,

I'm a 51yr old female, happily married to my high school sweetheart, 2 daughters in college, some great friends, and a nervous new owner of a pacemaker.

I thought I was in pretty good shape although I'm bit heavier than I wanted to be. I walked 3 miles most days and tried to eat right. Then about a month ago, I noticed I just couldn't walk the way I used to, was getting winded just going up the stairs in my house, and was having heart palp. I have moderately high bp, so I restarted checking my bp and noticed my pulse was running in the 40's and decided to see the gp. He thought it might be my meds, which he switched --no change. Then I saw the cardiologist, who had given me a clean bill of health after I came to him about heart palp 2 years ago. At his, office my pulse was a whole 59 bpm, so he thought my symptom of a low pulse was a measurement error on my part. Still, he ordered a Holter test. I got the monitor on Thursday, and actually managed to walk the dog the day I was wearing it and was feeling relatively good. On Friday, I drove to lunch, went to the market, shopping and for coffee. I took the dog for a walk. Overall, it was a pretty good day!! Until, 5:08 pm. You know right away, when a doctor (not nurse) calls you on a Friday after 5, it is not going to be good. As gently as he could he said, I needed to have someone drive you to the ER right away. Naively I asked if he thought I might be admitted, and if so, did he think I'd be spending the night. REALLY! Looking back, I must have sounded pretty stupid. I got off the phone, and was hit with the worst headache of my life. I thought, great, now I'm having a stroke.


When I got to the ER, my bp was 200/80, but lucky for me no stroke. What I did have was complete heart block. Turns out the holter had shown 2-3 degree block, but one day later, the two parts of my heart had officially filed for divorce, no counseling, no mediation, they were not communicating AT ALL! I had 3rd degree heart block. To say I was shocked to hear I needed a pacemaker is putting it mildly. Me? I was just shopping, and DRIVING, and had to climb the stairs to even answer the call from the doctor.

How the heck was this even possible? Just to make this whole thing even more surreal, while sitting in the ER bed, I got a call from my youngest. She had a college final paper due at midnight, and was calling for a mom pep-talk and inspiration! It may have been dumb, but I managed to pep her up/inspire her and hide the fact I was in the ER awaiting a pacemaker, all the while sporting a pulse in the teens. Apparently, my superpower is trying to help my kids.

Fortunately, the surgery went well (and so did her paper). I am now a battery charged version of myself.

Truthfully, behind my attempts at humor, I am still shaken. I've seen all my doctors and they say everything is working well, but I feel like someone pulled the rug from under me and all I see is a field of landmines.Every palp, stomach grumble, sinus issue, sign of a rapid pulse sends me into a panic. My blood pressure is higher than before and pacemaker dr may have to call medtronic about some adjustment he says is non-critical but didn't sound good to me. My mom was diagnosed with an enlarged heart at 56 and watched as she slowly changed from being the spanish bundle of fire, to a sad, sick shell of herself in only 18 years.I had been with her at the hospital countless time, sitting by her side, telling her everything would be ok. But now, I have been to the same hospital, in the same gown, and even had one of her nurses and I think that is part of the thing that makes my heart issue so difficult for me.I feel to young to have this, betrayed by my body, worry what's next, and lack confidence in my ability to know if something is wrong.

As many of you probably did, I have spent hours trying to research my condition, what's normal, what to expect, and how to stay healthy. Finding this forum was a gift. Reading the stories posted, from people younger and old than I am, and who are linving healthy, happy lives has offered me hope and given me a place to turn to. That's why I posted my story. I hope it provides comfort to someone else. My little way of paying it forward.