Pacemaker will haunt you in hospice!

HI,
My mom had a pacemaker put in 4 yrs ago. She is now dying age 86 in hospice of 4 stage lung disease and 4 stage heart disease and other complications. The hospice doctor will not turn down or turn off the pacemaker. I have to listen to my mother calling " Jesus Kill Me, Please Jesus Kill me!. That is her montra! One time I asked her why she let go of my arm while walking as I gently dropped her to the floor because I couldn't hold her weight. She said she tried to commit suicide. She said she hoped to crack her head open on the floor. Now she is semi dead and we wait and wait and wait for her misery to be over. I stand for my mothers bedside wishes to stop that pacemaker. Still suffering. Unfortunately we do not accept dying and it is my hope she doesn't go into a vegetative state. So it is my opinion to consider your last days before you have one of these pacemaker monsters put in your body. What gives you better life now will be your worse nightmare in hospice. Know it will never be turned off even if you request. A prayer, Dear God PLEASE take my mother today! Please end her misery.
Cindy

8 Comments

Cindy

by golden_snitch - 2014-06-20 10:06:07

I am very sorry to hear what you are going through with your mother at the moment.

However, the way you wrote your posting probably scares the hell out of some of the patients here, especially the new ones. I definitely appreciate your coming here and telling us about the problems, it's something we all need to give some thought, but it could have been done in a better way. There are new patients here, patients who have difficulty coping with their device, patients who worry about lots of things. You've got to take that into consideration before writing a posting like this.

A friend of my parents died with a pacemaker, and it was not at all like what you are describing. He passed away peacefully. His doctors said that, at one point, even an electrical impulse will no longer make a dying heart contract. They said the heart cells just stop responding to the electrical stimulus. I researched this, and found an article that supports what the doctors said:
http://www.caring.com/questions/pacemakers-after-death-do-they-keep-working

And there's another one at:
http://blog.cleveland.com/health/2008/10/as_the_end_of_life_nears_do_yo.html

And here:
http://www.blogalegentcreighton.com/index.php/2011/pacemakers-and-death/

Once again, I'm really sorry to hear what is happening to your mother. But I hope you understand the point I've been trying to make.

Inga

Totally agree with Inga

by KAG - 2014-06-20 11:06:43

To even consider not getting a PM at 58 because some day I may end up in hospice? No way that would even remotely be a consideration for me. My PM has given my life back to me.

Sorry about your Mom. I know it's not pleasant to go through.

Hospice?

by Gotrhythm - 2014-06-20 12:06:01

I'm sorry for all you and your mother are going through.I hear a lot of anger and frustration in your post--anger focused on the pacemaker.

But I wonder if you are looking in the right place? I'm shocked to hear of a hospice that is allowing such suffering when there are treatments and medications that could help.

To me the question is not whether the PM is keeping your mother alive longer, but is it making her more comfortable than she would be without it?

A frank talk with the hospice team about what can be done to ease your mother's passing is in order. And also some grief counseling for you.

And remember, you don't have to take one doctor's word on anything.

Hope you soon find some help and peace.

Keep strong

by Alma Annie - 2014-06-21 03:06:57

Hi Cindy,
I am so sorry that you are having to go through all this. I really don't think that your comments would put anyone off having a pacemaker inserted. I think you are just letting your feelings out, which is good. We don't mind that at all.
Yes, what others have said about finding a different hospice and doctor might help. Is your mother 100% paced? If not you might ask her EP/Cardiologist what he thinks. I think, as Grateful Heart does, that distracting your mother with singing, and maybe reading to her, something she likes even if she appears not to be interested. Keep strong and my prayers are with you
Alma Annie

Question this physician

by cag5 - 2014-06-21 11:06:03

Hi Cindy,
So sorry to hear of your experience in hospice. I work closely with a hospice unit and know they often turn off pacemakers when patients are in the end stages. I'm not sure if it is different if a person is 100% paced or not, I did not see in your post if your mother is completely dependent on the pacemaker or not. Either way there are medications that they should be able to give her to make her comfortable. She should not be suffering as you describe. Good luck and I pray she finds peace.
cag5

Prayers and Peace

by Grateful Heart - 2014-06-21 12:06:06

For you and your mother. This is a very difficult time for you.

My mother had heart disease (MI and strokes) 26 years ago when my oldest son was just 9 months old. Near the end, she told me to "let her go". I told her it wasn't up to me.

A pacemaker would not have helped her condition.

I have also been told when it is your time to go, the pacemaker will not stop you from dying.

Perhaps in time you will feel that the pacemaker gave your mother an extra 4 years with you.....not now, but in time.

Try playing or singing some music for your mother. The old songs that she loved. My friends family did that with her father. They all sang Irish songs for him in his hospital room. She said he closed his eyes, smiled and passed.

This is a very stressful time for all of you. My Prayers are with you.

Grateful Heart

Hi

by Pookie - 2014-06-22 10:06:04

I am so very sorry for what is happening to your Mom, but it has always been my understanding that a pacemaker cannot be turned off, however, a doctor can turn it down to around 30 beats per minute.

I cannot even imagine what you are going through and I too can see/hear your anger, but like mentioned above, when the heart wants to stop; it will - pacemaker or not.

I too think you should perhaps talk to those "in charge" and see if they can make your Mom more comfortable.

Prayers & hugs,
Pookie

Praying for your mom

by wantstoknow - 2014-06-29 04:06:04

I'm so sorry to her about your mothers suffering ,I recently lost my last 2 sisters so i feel your pain ,but playing their favorite music they went to sleep peacefully... just try it hopefully it will work for your mother and hold her hand so she knows shes not alone...My prayers are with you and your mother

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