Depression after pm implant?

Hi everyone.
I'm new to this site. My story:
I'm 35 and have always had a slow heart rate (40bpm). In April I fainted, and didn't feel well for a couple of days after. Finally called the Dr, they said to go straight to emergency which I did. Was admitted to hospital immediately. Had every test under the sun, and after 4 days in hospital the head of Cardiology said it was beyond him, and I was transferred to another hospital under a Cardiac Electrophysiologist. She had never seen a case like mine. Was back in and out of hospital for a few weeks over the next couple of months, trialing medication, home with halter monitors, My heart rate was between 18-147bpm, averaging 28, with pauses up to 4 seconds. Turns out my electrics are completely stuffed although my heart is physically fine. The Dr doesn't have an exact diagnosis, but is going with Sick Sinus Syndrome, tachy/brady syndrome, and atrial tachycardia, amongst other problems. Just 4 weeks ago (Sept), I had a pm put in. My husband is currently deployed to the middle east with work and has been for 3 months now. I'm doing it on my own with 2 young boys. It's been a struggle, and has all come as quite a shock to me. I always thought pacemakers were for old people!
Sorry for the long speel, but I guess I'm just wanting to ask... is it normal to still be quite uncomfortable in my shoulder where the pm is, I'm struggling to sleep because I can't lay on my side yet. I've felt really down these last couple of days, and am finding it hard to accept having something so foreign in my body.
How are other first timers finding it?

7 Comments

It's still early

by Jonny - 2013-10-06 07:10:38

With respect to the PM after 4 weeks then in my experience (I was fitted 9 weeks ago) you will probably have some discomfort for a few weeks yet, though it will slowly get better. For the past 2 or 3 weeks I've been managing to sleep (very well) on my side, though the side opposite my PM, which is the side I used to sleep on. The area around my PM still itches from time to time - particularly after a shower, or if I get hot from working (so seems temperature dependent). But for 95% of the time now I don't even think about it now.
Best of luck.

Glyn

by Glyn - 2013-10-06 07:10:49

Our history is very different, big heart attack 6 years ago beta blockers were lowering my heart rate too much and left ventricle not in time with right atrium so had CRT-D put in about 3 weeks ago to make it all work together. My chest still looks like I have been run over by a bus, still bruising across to the right side of my chest though I can now lie on my right side a bit. The was no mention of all this pre-op so I am not sure if this is the norm or not. Left arm still generally uncomfortable and cannot bring myself to look in the mirror. Yes it does feel like an Alien has suddenly moved in and even a few days ago I was wishing I had not had it fitted, but as the local trauma abates and things get back to normal, benefits become more apparent, which is slowly happening and I am starting to feel much more positive.

Some people seem to get away with much less local trauma and it seems to be related to body type so with me I think it was more difficult forming the pocket for the pacemaker - not so much flesh etc to work with - so much more bruising.

Though clearly we have differences it looks like we are not unusual. My wife has suggested giving the pm a name, that's when the humour (sic) comes in she suggested Gerry (from the 60's group Gerry and the Pacemakers, ho ho ho!)

Best wishes

Glyn

healing time

by Tracey_E - 2013-10-06 09:10:09

A bit of the blues is normal, depression is not. Depression is a disease and needs professional help. That said, considering what you went through getting diagnosed, the stress of being on your own, it's not hard to see how it can get you down. Give yourself time to heal and adjust.

re: pacemaker for old people and having something foreign in your body, don't over think it. While pm's among the young aren't common, you certainly aren't alone. I don't know why they'd tell you your condition is so rare and make it sounds so awful, there are quite a few people here with similar histories who are back to their regular lives. I can't imagine a dr getting to head of cardiology without seeing electrical problems in a young patient! We have members who have been paced since they were babies who are now healthy, thriving teens and 20-somethings. We have members like me who got them as teens or 20-somethings. I'm 47 now, on my 4th pm, healthy and active. We aren't exactly common but there are a lot of us out here.

Instead of focusing on having that hunk of titanium in my chest, I remind myself I'm fortunate to have a problem with a fix. If we have to have a heart condition, electrical is the kind to have because, as you know, the heart is structurally healthy, the arteries are clear. It's a wiring issue, mostly fixed with the pm. I found that as I healed and started to feel good again, I gradually thought about it less and less. Now I rarely give it a thought.

It's still early yet. You should get back to the point you can sleep however you want.

You ARE old...

by donr - 2013-10-06 09:10:31

...compared to a whole bunch of members of this club - some of whom still are too young to talk! Try getting a PM just hours after birth; or at three weeks old; or maybe 8 yrs old.

Note that my post was being written while Tracey's comment above was being entered. Not unusual. Note that we say essentially the same thing, but I am writing partially from the viewpoint of a husband half a world from home. BTDT several times.

Let's talk a couple things:

1) You feel abandoned because you are alone w/ "Sickness" & two boys to raise. Your husband did not abandon you, but that is a natural reaction. Supposing the circumstances were exactly the same, except that you suddenly came down w/ a chronic disease that was disabling, but not fatal. How do you think you would feel under those circumstances?

2) There is something special about the heart. It goes right to the core of our very existence. It must function "Perfectly," beating every second of every moment we live in order to sustain that life. Anything goes wrong & we naturally freak out. It's the natural desire to go on living.

See my opening paragraph. PM's are for OLD people. How old? Who can say? Old is a relative thing. To my 50 yr old daughter, I'm old. To your young boys, YOU are old.

Electrical failure of the heart is an equal opportunity malady. It can happen as soon as the heart of a fetus begins to beat! It can wait till you are in your 90's. We have some of each in here. This situation is personified by a TV ad we have here in the US for emergency alerting devices for people who may need emergency medical assistance while alone. The line is spoken by a woman who lives alone & is obviously in her late 70's. She says to her obviously middle aged daughter "I don't need one of those. That's for some old person!"

3) You have a terrible diagnosis for someone in your situation (ie, the first three paragraphs above). IT is amorphous & rather ill defined. The Dr's are stumped. It sounds terrible to the uninitiated. I'll bet that no one has sat down w/ you and discussed the issues w/ you that I have raised. No one has tried to treat your head. They just fix the mechanical/electric part & turn you loose to go home & face it alone.

BTW: What you have can, w/ relative ease, be fixed by a PM. At least in most cases. Consider the following example to put that comment in perspective. I had a college classmate die from a sudden, massive heart attack at age 27 - while sitting on a Dr's table being examined.

You merely had an electrical control system failure - as opposed to a plumbing failure. Stick in a PM, give it a few days (or weeks) to recover from the fact that YOU WERE JUST CUT OPEN & you can have a long, comfortable, useful life, NORMAL life. But - right now you are lost in the trees & cannot see the edge of the forest.

4) You have a foreign object inside of you! Yep, you do, and you feel it every waking minute of every day. You suddenly feel less human for some reason. Suppose it were a new hip joint, or a new knee joint? How do you think you would feel about that? You don't know, do you? But you DO know how you feel about the PM! Funny, different, artificial, somehow less than human, like an alien enemy in a in Star Trek movie.

Psychologically, you would feel a lot better about those two joint replacement items - you would not feel like a robot, w/ your very own little heart being driven by a computer. Remember that the heart is so very special to us humans.

I'm going to send you to a thread I wrote about a month ago to get a bit of help. It's called "Some Tough Love for Newbies." It's found by going to the top right corner where the "Search" button is located. Type in the name of the title & click "Enter." When the entry pops up, open it by placing your cursor on it & clicking. It's LONG, meant for Newbies to read BEFORE surgery, but it's too late for that you've already been to the OR. BTW, if you copy & paste from here, don't copy the quotation marks & the period. Our stupid system will not recognize that.

5) What you are going through is not at all uncommon. Happens to a lot of people. Just takes a little association w/ us to get through it. Just don't have a "Pity Party." come here & ask us your questions. Please don't vent to your husband. He has enough problems, being equally alone & feeling helpless because he cannot be there to help you. Keep him posted & tell him that you have found us. At least he is not being shot at - or is he?

Don (77 & been farther from family than your husband is right now)

All The Above......

by Tattoo Man - 2013-10-06 12:10:55


.....Are Spot On.

And.

Your feelings are your own......fact.

Lets try this..

Hands up,.. who wants a computer in their shoulder ?

Hands up, ..how many 35 year olds want to be told that they are they need surgery for their heart....a boob job could be cool..but heart stuff is for OLD PEOPLE like your Dad or Grand dad..

So..where does that leave you..?

Seems to many of us that we recognise that sometimes in life..( Oh here he goes...BORING !!! )..that the bridge that we cross is from a familiar place where we are just , good old Jill or Jim and go to a place where we become Jill or Jim with a Pacemaker.

....lets make that a Pacemaker with a small 'P'

Jill or Jim have a pm to give them a fantastic quality of life that countless people across the world don't even know about..

But..

This may still leave you feeling angry / resentfull / who knows, because,..and I reckon So many pm people just want to shout.

"I don't like this..I don't want this !"

Absolutely.

Prescribing 'Time as the Healer' is so damn dreary..I mean who has that much time.. ??

Hey. I am no Time Guru..just ask my Wife.

Manage your time with a Diary / Journal..this will be your private record. There will be good days and crap days, but stick with it and I would be most surprised if ,..a year from now you might just not be a star offering support to others feeling just as you do right now.

Be cool

Tattoo Man

PS..lets make that six months !






Hang in there......

by Acin - 2013-10-07 04:10:45

I tell folks that all the time. I know its hard. I got my ICD on July 16th. I cried everyday when I was first diagnosed. I felt sorry for myself, everytime I had an ache or pain I thought I was going to have a heart attack! Once I found this site, it helped me so much! I learned that my situation isn't as bad as some others. I learned to be thankful for my device. I just kept hanging in there. You've gotten some really GREAT adivce. Check in as much as you can; it really helps! Hang in there!

depression after pacemaker

by marrm - 2013-10-11 10:10:23

I am 49 and I, too, was a little depressed after getting the pacemaker implanted. You cannot do everything that you wish to do, and there is some discomfort so it is a difficult time. Even more so with you because your husband is not there and you have two young ones to care for. I had difficulty sleeping in those first few weeks as well. Hang in there. It does get better. I experienced discomfort initially and did not sleep on that side for about 4 weeks. Even sleeping on the other side was a little uncomfortable. I have had my pm for 7 weeks and I feel great now. I also felt weird having something foreign in my body, but I am getting used it. I hope you are feeling better soon!

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