Electrical and Plumbing Problems

I have both types of heart problems, Heart attack, stent, congestive heart failure, ventricular tachycardia (hence the reason for the ICD). It has been nearly six months since everything happened. Will the emotional roller coaster that I feel I am riding ever get better? I was always a very strong person. Extremely healthy, independent, stubborn and tough. Now I am emotional, cry at the drop of a hat and feel waves of sadness. I'm good when I am at work but when I come home it starts. I have an exceptionally supportative husband (36 years together) so that is not the problem. Is this something new I must get use to or will it get better?

5 Comments

feeling it

by judyblue - 2013-11-29 01:11:05

Marie:
I am 51, close to your age, and I totally get what you are feeling. One difference is that you went through a much more complicated medical emergency than me. I only had a pm put in for bradycardia. yet, after 9 weeks, I feel alone, cry a lot, actually meltdown, and keep feeling like I failed somehow. My wonderful gynecologist whom I have the longest medical relationship with (15 years) told me it is like PTSD- I hesitate to use that term due to all who served us in the wars and truly suffer from it. But she was so understanding and compassionate unlike most of the other docs, that I bawled in her office. Like you, it does not take much for me to get going! She prescribed wellbutrin for 8 weeks to see if I can get through this. I will see her again at that time to reevaluate. I only started on it two days ago, but I feel better just getting someone to listen. I am interested in getting therapy, but I am struggling trying to find someone my insurance will pay for. When you talked about keeping it together at work and falling apart at home- me too!!! I know it is because I am safe at home. I realized what a bunch of jerks I work with while being out getting my pm- work would not be a safe place to share anything! So I put away my feelings for 10 hours, and they are right there waiting for me in the car. I usually cry on the way home. Unfortunately, my husband wants to help me, but when I get really down and upset, he pulls away from me. He really does not think he does, but he does. So I go into the bath tub and have my meltdown there, and then try to function. I rarely go out anymore; I used to be on about 8 different councils and committees, not anymore. It seems all I can do is deal with the pm. I am hopeful I will get through this, they tell us that on this site! But know some of us are still there with you in the pit. Maybe it is not so lonely there after all! I wish you happier days, my friend. Take whatever time you need to take care of yourself.
judy n.

The "new" you

by fishfighter - 2013-11-29 05:11:57

I'm sorry to say, but we all go thru the life changing event. It really sucks the big one. You just have to face it that some part of you is broke. You will have up and down days which I call my good or bad days. There is no candy coating it. As you, I was very fit and then one day my life was turn upside down just three years ago.

After 6 or so months, you will adjust somewhat. Talk to your doctor and let them know how you feel. They can give some meds to help chill the depression that 95% of us go thru after the first PM implant. Also, talk to your hubby on how you feel. Family support goes a long way.

I hope I'm not coming off as a big Azz, but once you face your health problem and the "new" you, you will start to fell better. It is not your fault something broke inside of you or anybody's fault. The old saying" sh-t happens" applies here. Really!

God bless,
Paul

Many Thanks

by Marie12 - 2013-11-29 06:11:09

to all of you for your words of encouragement. This site has helped me so many times already that I can't imagine not being here.

In reading all of your comments, I have figured out that I am so busy at work that I don't have time to think about what has happened to me. Once home, it hits me. My husband does everything he can to cheer me up, take me places and spends more time with me than ever but he doesn't live in this body and it is hard for him to understand.

We have a good plan at work that will pay for a therapist and I think it's time to put my stubborn streak aside (who me? need help....never) and get the assistance I need.

Thank you all so much. I know I will have a better night tonight!

You said something critical to...

by donr - 2013-11-29 09:11:56

...learning what is wrong & what can be done about it:

"I'm good when I am at work but when I come home it starts."

Any time there is a predictable time or event when something bad occurs, there is some sort of cause & effect relationship between the two.

It's been 6 months since all the PHYSICAL things took place, & you report that you do fine at work, but you get home & you fall apart. IF that is REALLY common & predictable, it sounds psychological.

Let me give you a personal example: Back before I retired in 1987, We lived in New Jersey, across the river from New York City - about 250 miles fro Washington, DC. I took frequent business trips to DC and my wife drove with me if it was going to be a multi-day trip. Now this was during a period just before I was finally diagnosed as having PTSD from my Viet Nam experience & any stressful events could cause me to feel terrible. As soon as we would leave home, I'd feel fine - just about all my symptoms would quickly fade away in about the first 50 miles. All would be fine till we started for home & in about 50 miles the symptoms would start back up. It did not take many of these occurrences for Wife to label it as the "250 miles from home effect." She also noticed that the same thing happened when we took a longer trip - about 250 miles from home on the way back - the symptoms & anxiety started.

At this point, we'd been married for about 35 yrs, also. I'd had about ten yrs of PTSD & the ONLY thing that kept me functioning was wife & family support.

Since you are suffering an apparent psychological reaction - crying, sadness, etc., I would look into a psychological TRIGGER for it. But first, you must rule out - in your own mind - that it is NOT a physical thing. This is what I call the "Sherlock Holmes answer." That is as follows: "Rule OUT everything that is impossible, & whatever is left, no matter how improbable, is the cause."

Face it - no one in their right mind wants to believe that going home to a "Supportive Husband" is the trigger for such mental anguish. It just, plain is NOT something one wants to hear or believe. That's WHY you rule out the physical FIRST.

Looking at your medical history, you have enough traumatizing events in a relatively short period of time to have caused PTSD.

Here are a couple web pages for you to read:

http://www.ecu.edu/cs-cas/psyc/searss/
http://www.ecu.edu/cs-cas/psyc/cardiacpsychology/
http://www.ecu.edu/cs-dhs/cvs/cardiacpsyc.cfm

These are all for ONE man, a PhD in psychology who has specialized in people suffering just YOUR sort of issues/symptoms.

His name is Sam Sears, PhD, & he works at East Carolina University med School In Greenville, North Carolina. He works in BOTH the psychological faculty AND the CARDIOLOGY Dept faculty.

The first link is all about his world-wide speaking on the subject. The second is a page that gives you an opportunity to link to his list of publications & the third gives you a list of his latest laundry - well, not exactly - his research interests. Guess what!!!!! your situation is in his list.

Now, I'd suggest that you go there to see this man- except for one minor problem - you live in St John, New Brunswick - one heck of a long drive to Greenville, North Carolina.

My main purpose is to give you HOPE - springing from the fact that you are NOT alone in what is happening to you. Hope because the medical community is finally recognizing the reality of folks w/ psychological effects following CARDIAC events of ANY type, even those created by PM/ICD implants. Throw in a major plumbing problem preceding the implant & you have a recipe for high probability of psychological effects.

Hope I have helped somewhat. You are NOT alone.

Don

Crying OK

by Theknotguy - 2013-11-29 12:11:14

I was walking my son's dogs and had completed 3 1/2 miles of a four mile walk. Collapsed and woke up in the hospital 6 days later from a medically induced coma and I had a PM. Was so weak from being inactive that I had to learn how to walk all over again. Would start to cry for no reason.

I was very active had moved about 2000 pounds of wood the day before the collapse and was accustomed to walking the dogs six miles.

Your brain is going through a lot of stuff and your body is ringing like a bell. New medication messes up your mind. Not to mention what goes on at work. So....

Any therapy you can get will help. Angry Sparrow is correct. If your healthcare will pay for it a psychologist may help. Staying on this forum and seeing others going through the same problems helps. You can also see if your hospital can put you in touch with local therapy groups.

My son's two dogs aren't therapy dogs but they were a great help too. We had the dogs over today. They pulled me down the sidewalk on the one mile walk I'm allowed. But then proceeded to curl up and fall asleep while lying on top of me. They needed to keep the physical contact and stay with me all day. It was a great day. Angry Sparrow also has a therapy dog too. See if you can find therapy dogs. Nothing beats a cold nose and a warm heart.

I don't like the fact I have to rely on two machines to keep me alive - a CPAP and a PM. But I've gotten far enough along that I can be angry about it and not go into a frustrated rage. Part of the healing process is the acceptance of what has happened. If you live in the USA you have to remember we are a bionic society. People are walking around with artificial lenses in the eyes, knees, hips, shoulders, and all sorts of stuff. So you're just part of the larger group. Doesn't always help to know that but you aren't alone. So..

Hang in there. It does get better.

Theknotguy

You know you're wired when...

Your ICD has a better memory than you.

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