Weird...

I'm 10 days post PM implant. The first week after,it was kind of tough...I needed a week to recover from the trauma to the body. But I'm doing fine now...the pain is pretty much gone and I definitely feel more energy.

Anyway, the weird thing is how I'm finding mysel not wanting to we even touch it... Or much acknowledge it at all. I still haven't fully come to grips with the reality of this little machine residing in my body... and I'm kind of spooked by it a little bit. I've touched it, briefly, a couple of times, but that's it. Do you think I'll more fully come to accept it in time?
Thx.

7 Comments

I fully appreciate what you are saying

by sfbaywalk - 2011-11-07 05:11:46

Felt the same way -- sort of still feel like that (much later).

Do we qualify for Isaac Asimov's definition of a cyborg?

give it time

by Tracey_E - 2011-11-07 06:11:48

What you're feeling is perfectly normal and very common. Give it time. As you heal and feel better, acceptance gets easier.

Party Tricks

by Lottie - 2011-11-07 07:11:34

Soon you'll start using it as your Party Trick!

It's guaranteed to totally freak out 90% of your friends/acquaintances/strangers on the street when you start to move it back and forth with your finger.
Or maybe i'm just sick minded..?


To be honest, it took a good while before I was comfortable with intentionally touching the scar or PM..

Better make friends with it

by ElectricFrank - 2011-11-08 01:11:12

Mine has been following me around for 6 years now. LOL

frank

Road to acceptance

by kermiehiho - 2011-11-13 03:11:18

I agree with ElectricFrank. It's easiest to "make friends" with it. Although it might sound a little nutty, following the advice of another member on this website, I started by talking to mine. I ended up with mine after getting hit by a negligent driver, so I was pretty angry about having the thing, but I apologized to it and started telling it goodnight and asking it to make sure I woke up the next day. I feel like that has helped me accept it.

time heals all

by Rbtrgt - 2011-11-15 10:11:15

Welcome to the PM club and the newbie club! I've only had my PM for 8 weeks now and I was scared to touch it as well and was very concerned about having it. I even had trouble leaving my home alone for 2 weeks because I was worried something might happen to it. However, I'm finding that "my little Sparky" (named by my best friend) is quite amazing and I really don't think about it much anymore. I even took a business trip to FL and my coworkers were amazed by it (I even know what a pregnant woman feels like now as everyone had to touch it!). Over time you will get to the point where you hardly think about it at all. You will always know it's there because of the "lump of pride", but each day it becomes less and less of a focus.

ditto that

by IdyGal - 2011-11-18 08:11:54

Hi Peter;
I received my PM in mid-Sept. It was a bit of a shock (pun intended) as my implant was an emergency.......plus my husband was out of the country. Any time your daily life/routine is changed, espec if it wasn't your idea, it can be hard to get used to. Touching mine has never been an issue but reading the handbook made me anxious. Felt a little queasy and lightheaded everytime I read more than a couple pages. To make matters even more wierd........I am a nurse and I worked in cardiology for almost five years! It's difficult when it is so personal.

I think that you'll eventually become more comfortable with the idea of having a PM. espec once your wound heals and they get your settings adjusted. It can be very overwhelming so just give yourself some time to come to terms with it. It was easier to accept mine once my doc told me that I was a candidate for sudden cardiac death as I had few symptoms before the placement. Nothing like knowing I could have died in my sleep, while driving, or when I was watching my granddaughter to make it easier to accept the PM! I'm 54 and never saw this coming so it was a sudden and not so pleasant surprise.

You're normal. You'll become more comfortable with it over the next few months. You can always come here for information and fellowship. Good luck with your new life! ~Jeannine

You know you're wired when...

You have rhythm.

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