Husband doesn't understand
Hi, I think this site is great, I often come on here to read your stories when I need a boost or to know I'm not alone.
I had my pacemaker fitted when I was 22 in 2004, I am now 26. I sometimes feel a bit alone as my husband has never been able to fully understand how it effects me. He didn't come to the hospital when I went into have the operation (we weren't married or living together then, but had been dating for 6 years) and he's never really been able to talk about it with me. He says he doesn't want to make a big deal because it doesn't change who I am, and so he almost makes light of it. The thing is it kind of does change who I am, what I've been through. Although I have my family and husband, it's easy for them to forget that I have it, but I remember ever day, when it hurts for no reason, or I accidentially knock my chest, or when getting dressed and I see my scar or when I notice it kick in and my heart starts racing, or if I go through shop security...etc etc I could go on!
I'm now thinking about having a baby in the not too distant future and I'm concerned that we plan for it well before or after I'm due to have my pacemaker replaced as I don't think I could cope with both at the same time. My pacemaker is likely to be replaced in the next couple of years, around the time that we'll probably be wanting a baby. However when I mentioned to my husband this is a concern, he wouldn't even consider it or discuss it, it just said we'll see what happens. But he doesn't understand I have to think ahead with this!
Sorry it's a long posting, just feeling sad that the person whose closest to me isn't very good at being supportive on the one thing I have the most trouble with. Any advice would be welcome.